Ways to be successful in marriage

Marriage is a big step and it is important to know that it takes constant work. While it is scary to look at the statistics that show 50% of all marriages end in divorce, it is good to remember that marriage can be successful. Marriage is important and worth fighting for. Virginia Satir, a family therapist suggests five daily love lessons that can help us communicate and connect with our spouse. Those steps are:

Appreciations: Share five things you appreciate about each other. Appreciations build up credit in the love bank. It can be a nice surprise to realize just how much our partners notice and appreciate.

Wishes, Hopes, and Dreams: Describe three things you hope for in the long run and in the short run. A partner who understands your dreams is able to help them happen. Remember that hopes change as we go along and it's important to keep each other current.

New Information: We often forget to update our partner about a change in plans or circumstances. We tell people at work or a family member and think we've told our spouse. Make the daily updates a ritual. Information is crucial to staying in-synch and feeling connected.

Puzzles: Clear-up big or little mysteries before they become suspicions, jealousy, false assumptions, or resentments. Most "puzzles" have simple explanations.

Complaints with Request for Change: Get in the habit of saying what you want rather than what you don't want. Describe a specific behavior that bothers you and explain how you'd like it done.