Success isn't given, it's earned

Your marriage is like a playing field. Once you get on the field it's not about whether you are liked or not liked. All that matters is to play the game at a consistent level, doing whatever it takes to help your team win. This is what a marriage is about. But you each have to give a little that is how you can be a team player. If you find that you are budding heads all too frequently, take a date to uScore Soccer. Here you are able to play soccer and enjoy the game even from indoors. On this date you are learning how to be a team, working together to win the game (or the game of life!)

Couples need to learn how to take an effective “time out” if needed. These timeouts are necessary when you are stressed out and budding heads. There is only so much you can hash out during an argument, that a time out can solidify more healthy communication afterwards. Just like going to a spa or playing your favorite sport is relaxing and calming, timeouts can ultimately achieve the same thing. When couples are stressed out they cannot communicate properly to one another. Make sure the timeout is not longer than 20 minutes, if it is too long then it is more difficult to work out the issue. Afterwards try re-talking in a calm manner and use proper communication etiquette.

Soothe yourself and each other. Taking breaks may be essential if repair attempts are unsuccessful or if you begin to feel out of control (“flooded”) physically and emotionally. Even if you calmed yourself prior to discussing an issue, you may need to continue to do so during the discussion, and use self-relaxation techniques. After spending 20 minutes to calm down you can help soothe each other by talking about what produced the “flood” and what you can continue to do to calm one another (Gottman 1999). Take action by learning how to take breaks. This is an effective concept to learn, and with time it will just become a natural part of what your communication style entails.

A marriage can be applied to sports

Just like in sports success is not given, it's earned

On the field

On the track

In the gym

With blood, sweat, and an occasional tear.

Your marriage is like a playing field. You can avoid the blood and occasional tear by learning how to achieve success together. You are a team no matter what and your love should be the number fan cheering you on through all the fields of life.