We cannot make it through this life without some sort of plan or map. All of us like to have direction in order to know where the end destination is going to be. In a marriage this same principle should be in place. Each individual needs to contribute otherwise, if each spouse has their own map they will be ending up in different places instead of together. When married couples are in love they are also friends first no matter what. To instill your marriage will take flight try applying the following into your next date. And make sure you are both equal aviator's in the plan you want to achieve!
Love and friendship - What can married couples do?
The skill to learn on this date is to get in synch with your partners love preferences. Find out how your partner likes to receive love and then do those things often. Here is one suggestion:
Build a love map (Gottman and Silver, 1999)
A love map is like a mental (or physical) notebook where we collect personal information about our spouse that we want to remember. This can include the spouse’s dreams, joys, fears, likes, dislikes, frustrations, and worries. The map helps to identify different “points” about our spouse we know how to love him or her better. Try keeping a physical love map and add to it as the years go by. Make this something special between the two of you. Hang it up and always add to it often, when couples are able to communicate or show their love to the other, the relationship is more likely to stay successful.
Here is an example:
If you know your spouse’s favorite food is lasagna,
you would prepare that meal during an evening together.
Re-cultivate your plan every so often to make sure you are both trying to achieve the same destination.
Your "love maps" will be your ultimate guide to marital success and ensuring that your marriage will take flight in all the years to come! That grand journey is better done together not alone.
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